Women, stop bullying your own kind

I have been wanting to write on this particular topic for a very long time. Having been exposed to this kind of bullying at a very tender age, I know how badly it can affect the overall emotional state of a woman. Female bullies are of the worst kind and I am sure most of us, if not all, have encountered at least one in their lifetime. Unlike men, these bullies don’t get into fistfights or verbal brawls. They don’t wear devil-like horns or have evil-looking faces either. Yet behind their seemingly innocent looking appearances, they are extremely capable of inflicting a tremendous amount of pain.

To corner their victims, these bullies won’t flinch even once before resorting to malicious tactics. They will leave no stone unturned to feed their inherent need to control and feel superior than others. By spreading nasty rumors, indulging in harmful gossips or ganging up with other like-minded bullies, these egotistical tyrants will go to any length to socially outcast their targets. With harsh words or other manipulative techniques, these predators can subject their preys to a lifelong emotional trauma.

We deal with these women intimidators almost at every stage of our lives. In school, she is that friend who is constantly undermining your academic/extracurricular achievements. In college, she is the hyper-critical haughty who is always picking on your fashion choices or fat/thin shaming you. In office, she is there either in the form of a mean coworker with hidden agendas or a tyrannical boss who makes you feel inadequate with constant criticism. She is the frenemy who badmouths about you behind your back. Sometimes, she is the neighborhood well-wisher auntie who will tell you to forsake your career and get married because for a woman marriage should be life’s ultimate goal. Basically, they all are trying to break you mentally with their crafty deceitful ways.

Sadly there is no respite from these bullies even within the comfy confines of our own homes. I am certain at some point, we all come face to face with a jealous female member (either from our own family or the family we are married into) who tries to  belittle us or our accomplishments. To satisfy their super-inflated egos, these she-devils may use passive aggression or saccharine-coated sarcastic words to emotionally rip us apart.

We all know the basic psyche behind these emotional tormentors. They are an insecure lot who try to curb their own insecurities by pointing out flaws in others. Most of them come from dysfunctional families or have had a scarred childhood. But my question is when does this woman-on-woman bullying end? Don’t we women have enough issues already to fight for and against? No amount of feminist movements or women empowerment initiatives can bring about the change that we all long to see in the society until and unless we women start valuing each other first. Why can’t there be healthy competition among ourselves? Why do we have to be our own worst enemies? 

As if periods, childbirth and those occasionally devastating phases of under-confidence or self-doubt were not enough to deal with. Isn’t this ironical that despite knowing about and suffering from these problems themselves, some of us are still hellbent on making life miserable for others. Through this blog, I want to make an appeal to my own kind- let us be nice to each other. Come on girls, for centuries we have been oppressed, and now when the world is finally ready to listen to us, why are we still indulging in petty fights? Instead of bringing our own kind down, why can’t we uplift or be supportive of each other?

 

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