Women, stop bullying your own kind

I have been wanting to write on this particular topic for a very long time. Having been exposed to this kind of bullying at a very tender age, I know how badly it can affect the overall emotional state of a woman. Female bullies are of the worst kind and I am sure most of us, if not all, have encountered at least one in their lifetime. Unlike men, these bullies don’t get into fistfights or verbal brawls. They don’t wear devil-like horns or have evil-looking faces either. Yet behind their seemingly innocent looking appearances, they are extremely capable of inflicting a tremendous amount of pain.

To corner their victims, these bullies won’t flinch even once before resorting to malicious tactics. They will leave no stone unturned to feed their inherent need to control and feel superior than others. By spreading nasty rumors, indulging in harmful gossips or ganging up with other like-minded bullies, these egotistical tyrants will go to any length to socially outcast their targets. With harsh words or other manipulative techniques, these predators can subject their preys to a lifelong emotional trauma.


We deal with these women intimidators almost at every stage of our lives. In school, she is that friend who is constantly undermining your academic/extracurricular achievements. In college, she is the hyper-critical haughty who is always picking on your fashion choices or fat/thin shaming you. In office, she is there either in the form of a mean coworker with hidden agendas or a tyrannical boss who makes you feel inadequate with constant criticism. She is the frenemy who badmouths about you behind your back. Sometimes, she is the neighborhood well-wisher auntie who will tell you to forsake your career and get married because for a woman marriage should be life’s ultimate goal. Basically, they all are trying to break you mentally with their crafty deceitful ways.

Sadly there is no respite from these bullies even within the comfy confines of our own homes. I am certain at some point, we all come face to face with a jealous female member (either from our own family or the family we are married into) who tries to  belittle us or our accomplishments. To satisfy their super-inflated egos, these she-devils may use passive aggression or saccharine-coated sarcastic words to emotionally rip us apart.

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We all know the basic psyche behind these emotional tormentors. They are an insecure lot who try to curb their own insecurities by pointing out flaws in others. Most of them come from dysfunctional families or have had a scarred childhood. But my question is when does this woman-on-woman bullying end? Don’t we women have enough issues already to fight for and against? No amount of feminist movements or women empowerment initiatives can bring about the change that we all long to see in the society until and unless we women start valuing each other first. Why can’t there be healthy competition among ourselves? Why do we have to be our own worst enemies? 

As if periods, childbirth  those occasionally devastating phases of under-confidence or self-doubt were not enough to deal with. Isn’t this ironical that despite knowing about and suffering from these problems themselves, some of us are still hellbent on making life miserable for others. Through this blog, I want to make an appeal to my own kind- let us be nice to each other. Come on girls, for centuries we have been oppressed, and now when the world is finally ready to listen to us, why are we still indulging in petty fights? Instead of bringing our own kind down, why can’t we uplift or be supportive of each other?


47 thoughts on “Women, stop bullying your own kind

  1. My exact thoughts put into words! Thank you!
    I have quite a lot of females in my life who use ‘saccharine – quoted words to rip me apart’amd I think nothing can hurt someone more than this.
    Perfectly put together… I’m sure a lot of us can relate to it!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. These kind of women are everywhere. Best way is to walk away from this kind of negativity, be strong and fight for our rights. We don’t have to disturb others, and at the same time simply would not allow others to do it to us. Good read Piyli (Y)

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Agreeable!! also would like to add that bulling somebody brings out weaker side and indicates the defeat of a person who actually does such nasty acts………..and the victim is always the winner …Piyali !! indeed this fantastic issue churned the thoughts to deal with these negative element happening around us

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Well said n it’s very true too. Like u said most come frm scarred backgrounds bt nt all. The kind i hv faced belong to well good families by which i mean nt just financially bt with good environment too. Sometimes I feel it’s jus their own need to feel superior n bettr. I think it’s their own insecurities n complexes that they feed by bullying others. I too personally feel we hv more things to deal in our own lives respectively than to gossip abt others or bully others. Bullys r unsatisfied souls. They r nvr happy with whatever they have n they can’t see others happy too

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hey Piyali…..this write-up is so well written. I am sure every female who reads this blog will be able to relate to it because of the different tastes that u have mentioned. I just loved reading it……

    Liked by 2 people

  6. So true, all around. Often they are passing on what was said to them as if it was good advice. Sometimes they believe they are helping you up your game. Making you more marriageable. More attractive. Ugh. Women should be able to set their own course in life. As for the meanies, who have no other goal than assuaging their own insecurities, they need to wise up. Knocking someone else down leaves you the highest spot around in the next thunder shower. Lightning will come for them, too.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Very true and almost everyone feels the presence of these troubled souls around us in one form or the other in every gender. We just have to avoid and ignore them to the best efforts possible and remain calm and let karma takes over which according to Buddha and his teachings is inevitable……:)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. So true! So very true! We have enough issues to fight for or against, still, we keep on contradicting each other in the nastiest of ways. We laugh, throw dirty comments when we see another woman gaining popularity among the males. This is the commonest form I’ve seen on social media these days.

    I was nodding all over while reading your post. Thanks for voicing it… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  9. This one I can relate to on a personal level. I have been bullied by women from the time I was a toddler, as early as three years old. On top of that I went to a girl’s school. Many of my insecurities and social anxiety problems arise from there . It has gotten to a point where I avoid hanging out with women alone. Thanks Piyali for bringing this issue to light. You are one of the exceptions:).

    Liked by 2 people

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