Midnight Soliloquies

I’m in your city after a long time. It’s strange how much it has changed since. Yet some things have remained the same as before like the air, still hot, humid and heavy with lingering traces of salt. It makes me happy to think that at this moment, you and I, though physically far apart, are breathing the same air, and your mouth, like mine, is filled with a faint taste of salt too.
The streets outside are busy, still bustling with people. And the traffic? Was it always this chaotic? I can’t quite remember really. These days my mind seems to be slowly and dare I say quite effectively erasing the memories associated with the past, especially with this place.

I had completely forgotten how this city never slept. It’s 3:00 AM and the world outside my hotel room is wide awake and so are the people who call this city their home, who have migrated from rural areas and small towns to this crazy big metropolis in search of dreams. This city has always attracted the dreamers and the doers. Speaking of dreams, no such luck for me tonight. Sleep has decided to elude me too. I am staring out the window at the vast ocean which looks like a black velvety blanket rippling with luminous grace. Tonight, the sea and the sky seemed to have seamlessly blended into each other. Both are incredibly dark and quiet. I wonder if they are in mourning. Have they gauged my sadness? I can’t quite tell if they are mad at me for leaving them, for leaving this city, for leaving my home and everything I once held close to my heart behind.

‘Was it worth it? Running away from pain and hurt? After all, you weren’t the first in the world to have endured disappointment in love?‘ The sea and the sky ask me tenderly.

I don’t say anything. It was so long ago and I was so young and madly in love. I really don’t remember much. All I remember of that time was that it was necessary for me to distance myself. The thought of spending another day here or breathing the same air as you was too painful and terrifying for me. I had to leave and it was the only way I could have saved myself from coming undone.

I wonder if you also think about me? If my thoughts keep you up at this hour sometimes? I think not but in case if you are still awake then I hope you find the sea breeze gentle enough to lull you back to sleep. I will try and catch a snooze too. In a few hours, I have a long journey home.

Pic: Pinterest

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